Stick a fork in me

Have you ever felt like the promises of God are elusive? Perhaps like a big behavioral riddle that you need to solve before such promises can be realized? Your faith tells you His promises are "yes and amen", yet you feel left in a perpetual holding pattern like a jet encircling an airport but never landing. Something whispers "It's you"; "you are not doing life good enough". Knowing the Holy Spirit never speaks that language, you recognize the liars voice and fight off the lie. But the circumstances seem to endlessly remain and in your quiet place you look for the ways you don't measure up.

How many times have we all been in such a place? As these seasons of desert progress, we are loaded up with prophetic words from those we trust. They speak words that proclaim "This season is now over", or "The season is coming to an end" or "As you come out of this, God is going to multiply His bounty for you and your family many times over". You are grateful and recognize the importance of those He has placed in our lives to do life with. Yet week after week, month after month you are slowly drained. You feel like you are in the book of Daniel - all these promises must be after "time and times and half a time", and you feel like you are residing somewhere in between the "time and half a time". No answers come but you remain strong. You refuse doubt a corner of your heart. You stand.

What happens when we are out of strength? Finished. Empty, No more to give. We've tried everything we know to remain steady, loving, productive and positive. On the outside we have trained our countenance to demonstrate the real faith and trust that we legitimately carry, yet inside, we are out of words, ideas, and prayers. Stick a fork in us skippy, we're done!

Ever felt that? Well me too. There seems to be a thought pattern that those who appear spiritually more mature either by behavior or position must be immune to the trials, hurts and pains that the rest of us feel all to regularly. That they have discovered the secret formula and no longer linger unneccesarily in the desert...NOT!

In this blog, I promised vulnerability. Where here it is. Being in an extended season that feels like much of what I put my heart to bares little or no fruit; where my physical health that for 54 years I took for granted is showing signs of a disease that I don't quite understand, I'm finding myself in such a place. Stick a fork in me skippy:)

Yet,

Through it all, through it all, my eyes are on You.

Through it all, through it all, it is well.

Through it all, through it all my eyes are on You,

Through it all, through it all, it is well.

So let go my soul I trust in You. The waves and wind still know Your name.

It is well, with my soul.

It is well. with my soul.

It is well, it is well, with my soul.

If you are in such a place let's pray this together.

"Jesus I'm out of strength and ideas. But I trust in you. It is well. It is in your name we abide and reside. Amen".