A few months ago I had the same dream three times in one night. I had two kites - one in each hand. The kite in my left hand was called "helping others" and was flying high. The kite in my right hand was called "helping myself" and I couldn't get this kite off the ground. As I was taking in the scene, I snored myself awake -then immediately fell back to sleep. The dream repeated exactly. Two kites, one in each hand. The kite in my left hand titled "helping others" flew high and easily. The kite in my right hand called "helping myself" was on the ground and I was unable to get it up in the air. Once again, I snored myself awake and fell, once again, immediately back to sleep. Now for the third time, I dreamt I had two kites. This time, I had let go of the kite in my left hand titled "helping others" and as before it remained flying high. But now had both hands on the kite titled "helping myself" and despite all my efforts, I was still unable to get this kite off the ground. End of dreams.
It was evident to me the Lord was trying to tell me something, yet I knew it wasn't something as simple as "Dave, you need to start taking care of yourself". Several weeks later, while in a time of intense prayer and meditation, the Holy Spirit told me what the dreams had meant. "Son, everything I give to you, you immediately give to others. You think this is right and just, but there are gifts I have given you that were just for you. These are meant to strengthen you and remind you of how much I love you. As you have given them away, they haven't been able to do what they were intended to do, so you are weakened."
I know, God doesn't talk to us this way. Dave is just being a self indulgent wacko. Not so fast. Did you know that God gave to Jesus gifts meant just for Him? Consider Hebrews 12:2 "...looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him, endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God". It isn't a stretch to see that the Fathers gift of "the joy that was set before Him" was enough to strengthen and remind Him in His time of greatest trial. It's also not a stretch to consider the Father has gifts just for us as well.
Consider Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans to prosper you and not harm you, to give you hope and a future".
God empowers us to be self aware to the extent we are on the constant hunt for His best in our lives. That His gifts are intended for us to be able to rest in Him despite the battles of the day. In this rest, we fight from victory not for victory.
Easy words to say, yet I must admit that even after these dreams and His interpretation I kept struggling, continually running for others, serving others, taking care of others, neglecting myself.
Then last week, Jason Vallotton came to town. I had an opportunity to spend quite a bit of time with Jason, including driving him to the airport for his return trip. On the way to the airport, quite suddenly he asks me "How long until we get to the airport"? "About an hour", I replied. "Ok, let's do this", Jason said mostly to himself, then launching into what apparently had been strongly on his heart.
"Dave, I wouldn't want your life and that's not a compliment", Jason then spoke very complimentary about who I am in the Lord. He flowed generously into how he views me as a man of God. "But you don't take care of your body and your soul and that's wrong". Over the next hour Jason read my mail. He showed me how soul wounds is affecting my approach to life and how my body is crying out "no more".
In Part II of "How is YOUR kite?" I'll share more of what this bold young man said to me and how this week, I began a new season of getting the second kite flying too.
Please be sure to read part II. I believe a portion of what the Holy Spirit is speaking is for many of us as we grow and mature as sons and daughters of the Most High.